That title sounds a little goofy but it is sincere. I am one of those people who will go out of my way to put a positive spin on things if I can. At least on the surface. After all, my life really is wonderful. I wouldn't change a thing but sometimes it's hard to "keep your chin up", "look on the bright side", "make your own fun", etc. We've been out here for 2 months. I do sincerely love it here. I love watching my husband enjoy his dream job, and my kids make me laugh everyday... but... do you want "The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth"?
The military life has challenges.
Duh. I knew that coming in but I guess I did not realize (or admit?) that sometimes it would wear me out. Well I admit it today. This is a journal of all of our adventures but if I only show the "sunny side of life" then it's not very realistic. Moving away from all that is familiar and comfortable has left me discouraged. And being so very, VERY pregnant has made things harder.
I hardly know anyone out here. So a familiar face is a rare sight and a face that has a history of friendship behind it? Not happening. Well not yet anyway. That is draining. I'm not an outgoing person. I have a hard time making friends. But I do know that in order to make friends, I need to join people where they are. I need to learn what interests them. Invite them over and don't wait for an invitation. Find a way to serve them. etc. I've been thinking about it for weeks and my conclusion is... I'm not in a position to do any of these things right now. The comforting side of that is - it's temporary. In a few more months I will feel better and I'll have a new routine. I'll be able to give this a better try soon.
And being far from family stinks. That's been harder this week as my mother-in-law has gone into the hospital for surgery. We can't be there to help or even give her a hug. I can't run over to my mom's house to let the kids see her. I can't get together with my sister-in-law to let the cousins play. And none of them can be here with me when it's hard for me to get out of the house.
But here's the other side of the coin. There are challenges in everyone's life. Mine are no different or worse than anyone else's. Yet like everyone else, sometimes I let the challenges in front of me control my thoughts and attitudes. As a military wife, I will have different challenges than say, a plumber's wife who has lived in the same town their whole life. But my "challenges" come with so many unique "joys" that others will not get to enjoy - like the little adventures that I try to record in our journal.
And here's the most important part, God has chosen every challenge that he puts in front of me for my good. He is using this time to make me more dependent on him and to remind me of my need for him. I confess that since we got out here, my prayer time and Bible study time have become rare. It's probably no coincidence that I'm struggling to keep a cheerful attitude after over 2 months of neglecting my quiet time.
It was about 2 months ago that I included this verse in a blog entry... Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." God said this right in the middle of the exile of his people from Jerusalem to Babylon! At a point when they were farthest from all that was familiar and they were undoubtedly discouraged and just wanted to go home, God told them that they were there for a reason so settle in and get comfortable. I suspect that this was the last thing that they wanted to hear. But right in the middle of this he gives the reason that they are in Babylon. It was nothing specific and it wasn't exactly a prophecy for the future. It was far more powerful. It was just his promise that His plans for them were GOOD.
In the middle of this struggle and as I wait for things to get a little easier, I am reminded that his plans are GOOD.